別傷了家人的心!

剛收到*鯊魚*的email...

一個妹妹的心聲...

不知道為什麼...

看了有種想大哭的衝動...

因為...

我一直一直都把他們當家人看待...

即使不常見面,我還是很在乎的...

雖說我對*鯊魚*有諸多抱怨及不滿...

可是我非常確定...

她很善良...

他們一家都很善良...

*鯊魚哥*或許做了很多荒唐事,但我堅信他有知錯能改的一天...

在我心底,一直都認為他是個善良的好哥哥,而*鯊魚*更不用說了...

我越來越討厭錢了...

我自己這麼多年來也有無數的家庭問題...

雖然一次又一次的想逃離,可我一次又一次的接受現實...

恨嗎?

其實一點都不會...

受傷嗎?

有,太多了...

但傷痕有淡化的一天,而且這些傷痕遠遠不敵其他事情對我造成的傷害...

愛嗎?

我不確定甚麼是愛,但我會選擇愛,愛那些我該愛的,家人親人*鯊魚一家*,還有我的寶貝狗和烏龜...

我的愛很奇怪...

我可以很肯定的說出我愛狗或愛任何一隻動物...

但對人...

真的好難好難...

很多時候,我都不認為自己是愛他們的,但也不覺得自己不愛他們...

反正我不懂愛,我還在摸索...

*愛*太沉重了...

算了,不研究我的事情了...

經過*鯊魚*的同意,所以po了她的email...

以下是信的內容...

i happened to know he has both hsbc visa and master cards and one scb visa card. i asked him how is he goin to settle them (although i knew he couldnt afford to pay with a limited salary), he said he will negotiate further with the banks which he did not.

both outstanding amounts plus up are around 7k so i borrowed money from the firm but i was only allowed with $6k. afraid that he will get sued by the bank, i secretly helped him to settle his cards but it wasnt enough to settle his scb so i have to pay the rest by monthly for $150pm. my mum knew about it. my boss deducts $400 from my salary in addition with $600 from my yearly bonus. i never utter a single word and helped him. just two days ago, his company (Qq station) called me up and asked me why is he not working for the past two days? i said i saw him wearing uniform thinking that he would go to work but actually he did not so i called him up and this is what he replied.

you are pressuring me and i do not need to care about me anymore. you annoy and confuse me all the time. i don want to mind or care or concern about me anymore. stop worrying me!!! my matter don concern u. i warn u!!!! u better not let mum know about it!! he called my office three times just to scold me more and gave me some sarcastic words which were really hard to swallow. i called my mum and let her know. i could not even speak when i was on the phone with her. i was so sad at that time that it was too hard for me to speak. i burst into tears. i was shattered. i cried in the office silently. when he couldnt pay his car installments, i paid for him straight away after receiving my salary. i never even think whether i will have the money to eat or buy anything. i never complain but this is the shit i got from. so now he is free from debts and im surrounded with debts. he never appreciate what i have done for him and instead scolded me like a dog. was i even his sister? did he even ever treat me like one? im so sad.. so so so sad... cried for most of the time..