08/11/2011
本人我終於決定*種樹*...
這兩顆買回來很久了,也要感謝*S*,是她幫我確定這兩顆就是Guava Tree的...
那時候,想放植物在aviary裡,上網查了查*對鳥無害無毒的植物*,而我懂的以及汶萊買得到的,大概就只有guava了...
可是買回來後,想了想...
這兩個小樹,不到兩天應該就會被很皮,破壞性超強的budgies玩死吧(不用懷疑,很多人都不知道鳥的破壞性很強)...
於是...
我決定把樹種在後面的草地上,至少是接近aviary的...
當然...
*小棉球*看我種好兩顆小樹,就很*貼心*地幫我挖土...
又好氣又好笑...
謝天謝地,我的小樹至今還活得好好的...
凌晨12點多了...
今天是我的23歲生日...
祝我自己生日快樂 !
老了老了...
不要再問我是甚麼星座了...
也不要再研究我的怪個性了...
Were You Born on a Cusp?
Scorpio/Sagittarius
November 19 to November 23
Scorpio is the eighth sign of the Zodiac; Sagittarius is the ninth. Scorpio is the sign of sex and death, the beginning and ending, and they explore these ideas from an emotional standpoint. Sagittarius uses knowledge to understand the world. Sagittarius is the sign of philosophy and religion, and people born under this sign are the scholars and learners of the Zodiac. Those born on the Scorpio/Sagittarius cusp seek the truth and the meaning of life, and they love to explore through knowledge. They are investigative and probing, often strongly intuitive and penetrating.
The astrological symbol of Scorpio is the Scorpion. The astrological symbol of Sagittarius is the Archer. Scorpio/Sagittarius are very determined, and once they've made up their minds, they are unlikely to change them. Expressing the fixed quality of Scorpio, they tend to be stubborn, refusing to give up when others have long since become bored and abandoned a project, and they get things done when no one else thought it possible. Even though Scorpio/Sagittarius are likely to remain true to their opinions and judgments once they have settled on them, they are not necessarily fixed or opinionated. They have no set plan or bias but seek to learn new ideas as they come. In this way, the mutable quality of Sagittarius is exemplified. They desire the freedom to do what they want when they want, and they tend to be impulsive and independent.
Scorpio/Sagittarius people tend to be concerned with deeper and focused learning. They are versatile and progressive, but at times they can be impatient and pushy if something isn't getting done the way they want. Those who wish to change a Scorpio/Sagittarius mind often have trouble because they can never be sure what their motivation is; they are too complex and sometimes too secretive to be understood easily.
Scorpio is ruled by the planets Mars and Pluto. In ancient Roman mythology, Mars (and his Greek equivalent, Ares) was the god of war, and ancient astrologers assigned both Aries and Scorpio to this Planet. Pluto (and his Greek equivalent, Hades) was the god of the underworld, and when the planet Pluto was discovered early in the 20th century, astrologers assigned Scorpio to it. Scorpio's modern ruler, Pluto, represents death and endings; it's the sign of rebirth and regeneration.
Sagittarius is ruled by the planet Jupiter. In ancient Roman mythology, Jupiter (and his Greek equivalent, Zeus) was the king of the gods. Jupiter represents expansion in all its forms, including the mental outreach so prominent in Sagittarians, but it also may invite excess. It is the planet of luck, and many people born under Sagittarius do experience good luck. Scorpio/Sagittarians are interested in thought and outreach. They are intensely powerful, good-humored and generous.
The element associated with Scorpio is Water. The element associated with Sagittarius is Fire. Scorpio/Sagittarians tend to respond to the world through emotion and action, rather than practicality. They are eager and inspirational; they are about action and getting things started, but they can also seem irresponsible or tactless if they jump in too quickly. They want to experience life, rather than read about it, and they are outgoing and friendly. Scorpio/Sagittarians are motivated and loyal, but they are often misunderstood, and others may see them as dictatorial or sarcastic. They are broad-minded and enthusiastic, but they may sometimes seem to have foot-in-mouth disease, as they may talk too much or speak before thinking. Scorpio/Sagittarians are both mystical and scientific, a combination that makes them very aware of what is happening around them; they are a sign of great depth. Many enjoy travel and spiritual study and have daring and adventurous spirits.
Scorpio/Sagittarians aspire to be the phoenix or eagle, rising above the ordinary world and into something extraordinary. Their suspicion and jealousy can pull them down, but their passion and awareness can help them rise above this. They also love to have a good time and are outgoing and friendly. Many are natural comedians, sometimes exaggerating their adventures to entertain others. Their innate self-confidence may make them argumentative or blunt, but their intention is to learn, not to offend. They are high-spirited and enthusiastic, often flirtatious, and they tend to enjoy social life immensely.
In their leisure time, Scorpio/Sagittarians enjoy competition and challenge. They aren't satisfied with moving along at half speed or lowering their abilities to let those with lesser skills beat them. Personal challenge is always appreciated, and they tend to prefer solitary or one-on-one sports that stretch them to the limit, such as skydiving and big game fishing. They tend to be lucky and may enjoy gambling. Their philosophical side makes them enjoy drama and debate, as well as most other mentally challenging pursuits.
In love relationships, Scorpio/Sagittarians are flirtatious, playful, caring and possessive. The great strength of the Scorpio/Sagittarius-born is in their determination to see things through to the end. They refuse to allow boredom to turn them away from projects, and they are committed to accomplishing what they set out to do. Their philosophical and exploratory nature makes it important to live life to the fullest, experiencing everything they can. Their great love of knowledge and exploration makes them one of the most learned characters of the zodiac.
我養了兩隻*怪鳥*...
叫做Blue-rumped Parrot…
是汶萊的*原生*品種...
當時在breeder的家看到這些野生鳥被抓來,用5cm的鐵鏈把牠們綁在一根小棍子上...
這是種養鳥的方式,世界各國都一樣,而很多鳥就是這樣度過一生的...
我看了覺得難受,而那天剛好沒看到我想要的budgies...
所以一時衝動,買下兩隻blue-rumped parrot…
其餘的野生鳥,都是比較大的品種,我不認為自己有地方可以養牠們...
當然就算了(我也沒那麼瘋狂,沒那麼有錢啦)...
心想,買了之後找地方*放生*...
殊不知...
回到家把牠們放進籠子裡,牠們竟然不會飛...
所以我的aviary有一部分是為了牠們而建造的...
籠子太小,雖然牠們過了一個多月,已經願意展翅了,但空間不足以讓牠們*飛*...
住進aviary後,牠們會飛,但就是不太願意飛...
可能真的被綁太久了,牠們都忘了翱翔天際的感覺...
所以我也就覺得算了...
我不認為牠們回到大自然會有生存能力...
就養牠們一輩子吧...
牠們跟budgies不是朋友,但住在一起還算和諧(牠們會把budgies趕走,就是沒事不可以靠近牠們)...
牠們看起來很孤獨很冷漠,感覺跟我有點像...
我習慣稱牠們為*怪鳥*...
後記: 今天是我22歲的最後一天,我爸從上星期就在講*星期二要打球,不能陪我慶生*...我的問題是*本人我甚麼時候有在慶祝生日這件事?*,我每年還不是自己默默地度過,我都已經忘了慶生許願吹蠟燭吃蛋糕是甚麼感覺了(曾經在很小很小的時候慶祝過生日)...我爸說今晚提前慶生,帶我去吃西餐(一點慶生的感覺也沒有,因為本人我常吃西餐)...
上星期二,由*R*帶領,我跟*S*到了一個我們不知道的地方...
雖然我們常到Meragang Beach,但從來不曾走到那麼遠...
所以啊...
你不走就永遠不會知道...
本人我順手撿起貝殼偷看,發現這個貝殼裡有生物...
告訴*S*...
我覺得啊...
*S*真的是道道地地的新加坡人,完全就是個*都市人*...
後來*R*隨手把*牠*丟進水裡...
好笑的事情發生了...
牠在水裡,拼命地往岸上爬...
*S*很興奮,一直在拍牠爬行的樣子...
還覺得好玩,說要再丟牠下去一次...
這隻小生物肯定覺得自己大白天遇到一群瘋子了...
在沙灘上曬個太陽,竟莫名其妙被丟進水裡...
害牠浪費那麼多力氣,再次爬上岸...
真倒楣...
走啊走的,又被我發現一個*活貝殼*...
我等了很久,才等到這傢伙探出頭來...
又等了很久,才拍到牠的側面(牠每次出來,看到我靠近,又躲回去,所以我等超久的)...
這個貝殼很美,我很喜歡它的顏色...
順便一提...
到海邊,請不要亂撿貝殼,即便是空貝殼也不要撿...
因為*寄居蟹*和其他的小生物都需要貝殼當牠們的家...
曾經看過報導,很多瀕臨絕種的寄居蟹等,因為完整的空貝殼越來越少,導致牠們找不到*家*,自然也就活不成了...
人幹嘛跟動物搶貝殼?
破貝殼沒人要,動物們也無法靠破貝殼生存...
*S*說她完全不知道這件事,而我一直以為這是*常識*,大家都知道...
回頭想想,我只有在年紀很小很小的時候,撿過一個空貝殼,至今還留著...
之後我就很知道怎麼*尊重大自然*,屬於大自然的東西,我不掠奪...
即使是一個小貝殼,一顆小石頭,我都不會順手牽羊...
了解這個道理時,我還是個小孩,我也不知道這是哪裡來的想法(絕對不是父母家人教的,因為他們到現在都還不懂)...
我很欣賞這種很自然的石頭...
每次看到這樣的峭壁,我都會不自覺想像另一邊藏著一個魔法世界,世外桃源之類的神秘國度...
雖然我很清楚現實世界中的*另一邊*,永遠都是普通的場景...
但我依然抱著這樣的想像...
說不定哪一天,我真的會走到一個神秘國度...
走過很多大石頭,到很後來才發現...
這些小東西,都還活著...
會動的...
我一直以為都是死的,久而久之才形成這些看起來*爛爛的大石頭*...
這些貝殼也都有生物在裡面,都是活貝殼...
花了兩個多小時*走路*...
終於走出了大自然...
於是...
*R*提議去Serasa Yacht Club吃午餐,也剛好讓*S*研究那裡的游泳池...
坐在亭子聊天時...
剛好看到這隻*白鷺鷥*經過...
那天是星期二,但我們三個真的悠閒到懷疑是週末...
那一天,自然得很美...
一切都由這張草圖開始...
我口頭敘述我要的東西和想法...
*A*幫我畫圖,研究材料預算,安排*R先生*買材料,以及跟contractor溝通...
沒有她,我完成不了這個小夢想(至少不會是現在完成)...
10/09/2011 - *R先生*買了材料送到我家
11/09/2011 - 開工大吉
15/09/2011 – Contractor拖了好幾天,才再次出現
17/09/2011 - 上了部分鐵絲網
25/09/2011 – Contractor遲遲不出現,於是*A*換了一個contractor,但做錯東西了,房間原本不該有*窗口*的
01/10/2011 - 第二個contractor也有同樣毛病,拖了好幾天才再次出現,這天他們把所有該做的都趕完了,*窗口*誤打誤撞,變成*美麗的錯誤*
06/10/2011 - 第一個contractor為了收到錢,出現做了他答應要做的gutter,本人我這天花了四個小時,自己動手做了這個*麻繩網*(感謝*S*幫我找到*麻繩*這種東西,原以為很普遍的東西,事實上很難找)
07/10/2011 - 白天看感覺不同
08/10/2011 - 正式竣工,我不知道花了多少時間抓鳥,終於把牠們全放進小鳥籠,搬家嘍 !
*******
本人我原本想去新加坡看*王菲*演唱會的,票價實在驚人(當時只剩下最貴的票)...
後來因為自己有種*不想動*的感覺...
加上自己花了很多錢在這個walk-in aviary上(將近$1400)...
於是打消念頭...
我當時其實是覺得自己的budget不夠,還不到時機建aviary的...
後來*A*聽到我打算花$800多元買一個大貓籠養鳥(牠們原先住在一個四方狗籠裡,其實不算小,還算夠住,但我就是想要給牠們更好的環境)...
*A*就說籠子那麼貴,還不如多花一點建造我夢想的walk-in aviary...
她幫我買材料,contractor只負責建造,不讓他們亂來,這樣才能省下材料錢...
我的walk-in aviary有幾個重點...
1. 要看得到天空
2.. 要有一間密閉式空間,是breeding room,也是鳥兒的避風港,隨時可以躲進去避雨避太陽,害怕時也有個地方躲(別忘了,我家有9隻狗)
3... 房間裡必須要有好幾個nestbox(總共9間)
4.... 有兩道門,防止鳥飛走
5..... 周圍的鐵絲網,較低的部分都是雙層的,一層硬的大格鐵網,一層普通的小格鐵絲網,為了防範狗咬壞撞壞鐵絲網(這一部分花最多錢)
就這樣,我的*小夢想*成真了...
本人我從一開始養鳥,就已經在想在計畫aviary的事了(好像也曾經在部落格寫過)...
當時覺得很遙不可及,而今我真的辦到了...
我想說...
養寵物並不簡單,更不便宜...
我不管是養甚麼動物,在飼養之前都會把牠們的一生*想透*...
我永遠都會確保自己不會後悔,想好自己是否有能力養牠們一輩子...
我所謂的*養*,不是只有*餵食*...
還有牠們的健康,牠們的快樂...
所以*居住環境*是重點...
本人我每隔一段時間,就會幫牠們升級居住環境...
籠子,便盆,玩具等等等等...
這些簡單的小東西,是牠們的*必需品*...
如果連這樣的小錢都不願意花的話,請你不要飼養任何寵物...
仔細想一想會發現,本人我一直以來,興趣就是*飼養寵物*,唯一*無愧於心*的也只有這點(我自認我做得很好很好了)...
我常說,牠們快樂我就快樂,所以我很願意花錢在牠們身上...
所以啊...
我的動物每一隻都很貴都是無價的,我花很少的錢買下牠們或根本不用錢,但我在能力範圍內,花超多的錢賦予牠們最好的生活...
是的,我問心無愧...
講完了...
P.S. 今天傍晚發現一隻母鳥下蛋了,應該有三顆吧...
本人我這兩個星期很認真在過生活...
無所事事的感覺真好...
心裡還在不停地拉扯...
上星期,狠下心,告訴*R*我不去幫忙貓的事,讓她自己解決或跟*A*解決...
雖然我當時在原地盤旋了好一會兒...
上星期的某一天,在爬山時,*R*終於問出口了...
問我是不是不想繼續做動物的事情了...
我簡單回答*Yes*...
她說...
那麼多年了,努力了那麼久,我怎麼會想放棄...
也說了跟*S*一樣的話...
我走了,她怎麼辦?
這到底是哪裡來的想法?
我走了,到底會對她們任何一個人造成甚麼困擾?
我始終不懂...
說實話,我已經不太知道這是種甚麼感覺了...
我還是覺得很煩躁...
我不是真的不想知道狗貓的動態...
可是每當有人跟我報備的時候,我又有種莫名火,想要徹底放手...
我發覺事情的癥結在於...
*我不認為這些是我的責任,可偏偏卻被別人當成是我必須做的*
我知道我一直都在,我很低調很不明顯,但我始終都在...
而這種存在,造就了別人的慣性依賴...
好像我永遠都不會走的感覺...
我不知道我到底做了甚麼,怎麼會讓人有這樣的感覺...
說也奇怪,被人看重應該是值得開心的事,可我卻很不喜歡這種感覺...
我曾經以為我跟*A*是同一種人,想法很接近,所以才會一起創立CAS...
可我最近認真思考後發覺,我們的想法其實很少一致,只是每次都會當作沒這回事,她繼續做她認為對的事,我繼續不認同...
她始終是贏家,我始終任由她發展...
時間久了,我也有受不了的時候...
情緒一旦爆發,就難以收拾...
於是我越來越無法認同...
在無法改變的情況下,我只想默默離開...
*不認同,就閃人*一直是我的處事原則...
因為我不喜歡強迫別人改變,或者傻傻期望人會改...
每個人都有自己的主見,不管想法如何,都不是別人要你改,你就必須改的,即使你的想法錯得離譜(但誰有資格批判對與錯)...
好了,不說了...
閃啦...
十一月悄悄到來了...
本人我昨天正式辦交接了...
昨晚在整理文件時...
發覺...
這一年又五個月,其實做了不少東西...
我一直都認為自己做得很少,照理說應該很容易辦理交接...
可這所謂的*很少*卻也夠麻煩的了...
晚上八點半左右把所有文件歸類好...
說實在的,我歸類好了以後,我還真的有種不想走的感覺...
突然覺得有好多東西還沒完成,有點半途而廢的感覺...
這畢竟是我的第一份工作...
我想不捨是必然,是合乎情理的...
尤其是在放了兩星期的假後...
我原本認定*自己不喜歡這份工作*的,可在放完假回去後,發覺事情的癥結並不在此...
我甚至懷疑自己其實是喜歡這工作的...
反正就是我昨晚難過了...
後來在辦公室跟*Simba*道別道很久,牠不知道幹嘛,昨天心情超爛的...
我:"洪辛巴,妳幹嘛啦?我欠妳錢哦?"
*A*幫牠回答:"妳沒有欠我錢,但妳欠我感情..."
我:"那慘了,錢還好處理,感情債很難還..."
這*A*很討厭,這陣子常跟*洪小巴*說:"姐姐要拋棄你們了"...
怎麼會有人跟小孩子講這種話啊?
好討厭喔...
我:"我以後真的會很想妳喔...*洪辛巴*,妳偶爾也要想一想我喔...不要忘了我喔..."
*A*又幫忙回答:"*洪辛巴*才不會忘記妳,*洪辛巴*說姐姐要常常回來看我喔...我每天都在嘛,我又不出門的..."
哈哈...
那倒是,*洪辛巴*是真的不出門的 !
*A*昨晚幫貓咪們說,我最好能每天都回去看牠們,餵牠們東西吃(昨晚在我的抽屜挖出好幾包還沒開封的零食交給*A*)...
九點多約十點,我正式踏出我上了一年五個月班的地方...
畫下了一個不太完美的句點...
我想我以後不管去哪裡做甚麼工作,都不會再找到像這份工作這樣的待遇了...
可以比別人*遲到早退*,每星期三我的清潔日,還可以特別晚到...
上班時間,可以一直跟貓咪們玩,可以隨時出去忙動物的事情...
每位員工看到*A*都恭恭敬敬地喊*A*一聲*Boss*…
但我就是叫不出口...
每個人離開辦公室前,都一定得跟*A*說一聲,問可不可以走...
但我這一年多來,完全沒有這種習慣...
有一次*S*問起這件事,*A*回說:"我承認我是有點偏心的"...
大家對*A*說的話,向來都不敢反駁或說個NO...
就我這個死小孩常常在跟她唱反調,問WHY...
我在公司基本上是橫著走的,因為大家都知道*A*對我很不一樣...
久而久之,大家都不太敢來叫我做奇怪的東西(或偷偷叫我做,但狂提醒我千萬不能跟*A*說,不然她們會被轟)...
所以我也很好奇,我自己為甚麼會想離開...
我知道我有天會後悔的,或許不是今天不是明天不是下個月,但總有一天會後悔的...
可是我也確定,如果我在這當下不離開,我會瘋掉的...
九月遞辭職信時,我妥協了一次,問*A*我能不能放*長假*...
那時她告訴我,即使我不提,她發誓這原本就是她的計畫...
但那時,她問我能不能先放兩星期的假,回來完成一件事情,之後再休長假...
我答應了...
但兩星期後回去,我真的還是覺得不行,我真的得馬上休*長假*...
我是真的很捨不得這一切的,尤其是貓咪們和*A*...
一年多前,我怎麼都不會想到自己會做這樣的工作...
進公司,從零學起,而今也算是學到了一些皮毛...
我現在想起一件事情...
本人我一開始認定我做不久的,最多幾個星期就會落跑了...
所以我一直都沒有request stationaries,當時前輩問為甚麼不request,我說不需要(因為隨時準備落跑嘛,無牽無掛比較容易逃啊)...
後來我用的文具全部都是前輩留下的...
就這樣幾個星期幾個星期地過,久了,我也就沒再想過要request stationaries了...
哈...
很感謝*A*從一開始就那麼相信我,我還真不知道她對我的這些信心是從哪裡冒出來的...
真的不知道,也真的感激...
她剛skype我,內容如下...
simba this morning ask me where is jean jie jie
charcoal and lindy and mr tiger also ask me
i tell them all that jean jie jie 放假，很快就回来
so you must visit them orrr.......
於是...
我又更難過更愧疚了...
算了,不說了...
閃啦...
